INT. MSNBC NEWSROOM - DAY
The news crew at MSNBC is preparing for that evening's contribution to journalisming when an intern runs into the studio carrying a tablet.
INTERN: Sir, you're gonna want to see this. Tucker Carlson just tweeted. He's bringing his show back on Twitter.
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: My God. Quick, someone wipe the hot fudge off of Brian Stelter's and clean the Twinkie creme filling off of his blazer.
INTERN: Sir, I don't think that's Twinkie...
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: I don't pay you to think! We need Tater on camera.
Okay, I'm not 100% sure that is how the scene unfolded. But SOMEONE at MSNBC heard that Tucker Carlson may or may not be working with Elon Musk (we know now not) and believed BRIAN STELTER was the perfect person for commentary.
It is a free-for-all, it’s what Elon Musk wants to provide. This move by Tucker may cement the idea of Twitter as a right-wing website, and we see some users trying to go off to other sites instead. Maybe folks who don't want to be a part of that party going off trying to launch other parties elsewhere.
Like Brian Stelter knows anything about going to or being invited to a party.
This isn't the first time Tater has attempted a party analogy. When Elon first bought Twitter, Stelter reeeeee'd: ""If you get invited to something where there are no rules, where there is total freedom for everybody, do you actually want to go to that party or are you going to decide to stay home?"
The answer is you go to that party because it sounds f*cking awesome. It's what Tucker Carlson is doing. While Stelter attempts to sell his Walter Cronkite award because it's the only way he can still afford cheesecake.
It's unfortunate that Tucker's new direction appears to be more serious and less mired in cable news bullshit. Because when he was mired in cable news bullshit, Tucker's attacks on Brian Stelter were the stuff of legend.
He mocked the genderless potato head for broadcasting in his underpants. He interviewed the college bro who made Stelter look stupid in front of his peers. And my favorite? The comparison to the Ministry of Truth's spokesman in Orwell's 1984.
"He was a fat but active man of paralyzing stupidity, a mass of imbecile enthusiasms--one of those completely unquestioning, devoted drudges on whom, more even than on the thought police, the stability of the Party depended."
Tucker Carlson remains relevant to the political landscape. Brian Stelter has nothing to do but be green with jealousy. Which, the disgraced media reporter isn't all that bothered by. The color green reminds Stelter of Jell-o.
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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.
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May 10, 2023 at 08:30AM - Brodigan
Watch: MSNBC digs up moldy potato head Brian Stelter to bash Tucker Carlson's "deal" with Elon Musk
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