March 27, 2020 at 09:56AM from The Babylon Bee
BEIJING — President of the People’s Republic of China Xi Jinping made a surprise announcement to a few invited members of the press. “Everything is great here!” he said. “In fact... um... we’ve completely eradicated Coronavirus here -- cured it even. Yep, cured it. We found a cure. But it... um... only works on the Chinese so we can’t give it to you. Yeah, that’s the ticket. China-only cure; can’t share it. But, uh, everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?"
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via The Babylon Bee