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Hi! It’s nice to meet you, Hungry! My name is Dad.
The post Hi, Hungry. I'm Dad. appeared first on The Babylon Bee.
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June 16, 2019 at 10:03AM from The Babylon Bee
https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-4367-1-thumb.jpg Hi! It’s nice to meet you, Hungry! My name is Dad. The post Hi, Hungry. I'm Dad. appeared first on The Babylon Bee. via The Babylon Bee
June 16, 2019 at 09:38AM from The Babylon Bee
https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-4352-1-thumb.jpg U.S.—While everyone has a mother--a necessity in every family for raising and providing for the children--there is a second type of parent some people have called a “father.” It is unknown what purpose this seemingly vestigial parent provides, but today is a holiday known as Father’s Day, where the existence of fathers is acknowledged even if their purpose is unknown. The post Nation Spends Day Acknowledging Existence Of Completely Unnecessary Parent appeared first on The Babylon Bee. via The Babylon Bee
June 14, 2019 at 03:02PM from The Babylon Bee
https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-4359-1-thumb.jpg U.S.—A new line of manlier essential oil scents is now available. The post Essential Oils For Men Now Available appeared first on The Babylon Bee. via The Babylon Bee
June 14, 2019 at 03:02PM from The Babylon Bee
https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-4305-2-thumb.jpg SHEEPSBLUFF, KY—"Good morning Ralph," Sam says to his computer screen as he clocks in and begins another day on Twitter railing against his liberal counterpart's constant political assertions. For each stance taken by Ralph, Sam is ready to pelt him with the same pile of cliches he used yesterday. The post Conservative, Liberal Clock In, Hurl Cliches At Each Other On Twitter, Clock Out appeared first on The Babylon Bee. via The Babylon Bee New 'Habitat For Heretics' Charity Builds Giant Mansions For Needy Prosperity Gospel Preachers6/14/2019
June 14, 2019 at 10:43AM from The Babylon Bee
https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-4362-1-thumb.jpg U.S.—A new charity called "Habitat for Heretics" aims to build giant mansions for impoverished prosperity gospel preachers. The post New 'Habitat For Heretics' Charity Builds Giant Mansions For Needy Prosperity Gospel Preachers appeared first on The Babylon Bee. via The Babylon Bee
June 14, 2019 at 08:32AM from The Babylon Bee
https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-4366-2-thumb.jpg U.S.—After top U.S. officials claimed Iran attacked ships in the Gulf of Oman this week, John Bolton held a press conference where he asked when the government has ever lied about something like this just to start a war. The post John Bolton: 'When Has The Government Ever Lied About Attacks On Ships In A Gulf Somewhere Just To Provoke War?' appeared first on The Babylon Bee. via The Babylon Bee
June 14, 2019 at 07:57AM from The Babylon Bee
https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-4363-1-thumb.jpg WASHINGTON, D.C.—Shortly after Joe Biden promised to cure cancer if he is elected president, presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren attempted to one-up her opponent, promising to cure smallpox as one of her first actions upon taking office. The post Elizabeth Warren Promises To Cure Smallpox appeared first on The Babylon Bee. via The Babylon Bee
June 13, 2019 at 03:47PM from The Babylon Bee
https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-4365-1-thumb.jpg RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA—A self-checkout machine at a local Walmart store was selected to be honored as the employee of the month for the fifty-second month in a row, sources confirmed Thursday. The post Walmart Self-Checkout Machine Wins Employee Of The Month Award Again appeared first on The Babylon Bee. via The Babylon Bee
June 13, 2019 at 12:21PM from The Babylon Bee
https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-4356-1-thumb.jpg MORADO, TX—Devout Christian Alex Jamison rushed himself in for HIV testing today after briefly making eye contact with an allegedly gay man. "Our eyes made contact," he said. "I gotta get tested!" The post Christian Rushes To Get HIV Test After Brief Eye Contact With Gay Person appeared first on The Babylon Bee. via The Babylon Bee
June 13, 2019 at 11:40AM from The Babylon Bee
https://babylonbee.com/img/articles/article-4361-2-thumb.jpg HARTFORD, CT—Kids attending Fountainlife Community Church gave scathing reviews to third grade Sunday School teacher Mike Willis's flannelgraph story as the reenactment of Jesus's ministry suffered from abysmal frame rates throughout. The post Flannelgraph Story Criticized For Awful Frame Rate appeared first on The Babylon Bee. via The Babylon Bee |
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